Hildebrand

This restaurant is a joke. The pastas are so far removed from the real thing it is a joke. This is what I call a fuck you restaurant, yes fuck you the customer because you are to stupid to find a restaurant that serves decent food. When I went to the Hildebrand it was packed, packed with foreigners, who books them in here or to they stumble in alone. What does the Hildebrand have going for it.......location, I only wish that they were located on the moon.

Why are there so few good restaurants

If I go to a doctor I expect that he is qualified to examine me, and like wise a dentist. If I take my car to a car mechanic then the same applies, it is that he is qualified to repair my car......YET.....if I go to a restaurant then anybody can present me with a meal. The quality of food that is served in Cape Town is shocking. Cafe del Mar in Camps Bay overpriced and unable to serve a decent basic salad. Extreme Hotel...millions spent on the decor.....yet they specialize in undersized average hamburgers.....and if you want any extra condiments you must pay.....Cafe Paraidiso.....oh so average.........Manna.........there is nothing on the menu, it is a joke.........Jimmys Killer Prawns....give me a break....the list goes on and on

Bukhara, Cape Town

Lamb at Bukhara costs R940 a kilo.......the portion that i received was no more than a 100grams for R94....plus i had to pay for the rice.........I spent 3 months in India...from Mumbai down to Goa...Hampi...Kerala...Agra...Delhi...and numerous other cities.......so my standard for indian food will always relate to my experiences in India........I always find a problem with the price of Asian food in Western Countries and the portions are to small........and the food is never hot....never ever hot.......always tepid from standing in bain maries.....anyway back to Bukhara where lamb costs a mere R940 a kilo and where my compatriots make a meal of there complimentary poppadoms...for goodness sake it is a couple of bites and over......but no they make a ritual of it.....smearing it with the accompanying sauces and spending a half an hour eating it.....My lamb was tepid and overpriced...the rice was equally tepid and my nans were cold........I've eaten better curry bunnies in Durban that were tastier and far better priced....Please please Cape Town find restaurants where the food is served with love and the pricing is fair......not these over priced over rated ripoff restaurants

Nelsons Eye, Hof Street

This was my second visit...my firstbeing six years ago....the only thing that has changed is the smell...it reminds me more of an old age home sort of smell.....mothballish. Was the food good....well what can I say steak is steak is steak......could be more flavoursome...the accompanying packet spinach and sugar sweetened pumpkin is old school.......very old school....I agree retro is back but imagination at Nelsons Eye is lacking.........Dutch friends of mine said that they make chips the way they like them........now I know to burn them just like Nelsons Eye the next time I cook for them......oh one more thing.......the prices are whacked......R42 for a soup..R64 for a salad.....and R45 for a creme brule......that's when I decided eat dessert here or go to the Engen around the corner.......needless to say the Engen won.......overall what did I think of the Nelsons Eye.....maybe I'll return in six years to see if it smells different

Five Flies, Keerom Street

I'm beginning to wonder if there are any restaurants in Cape Town that can live up to their supposed reputations. I found the food at Five Flies to be bland.......I have eaten food in pubs that have a similar style but yet tasted a thousand times better. I had a smoked salmon starter...which a chef cannot really mess up because all the chef does is plate it......my T bone was bland...bland ....bland.....the so called cream based sauce did not exist.......I tasted my partners lamb which was tender but tasteless and the watery lumpy mash that accompanied it was disgusting....my creme Brule was better than the savoy cabbage......but was it from a packet??............please......please can someone direct me to a good restaurant.............and what is it with waiters holding pepper grinders over you as if black pepper is a rare commodity.....all i can say is w t f!!!!!!!

Cafe 55, Kloof Street

I would have eaten here.......................had the waiter taken my order..............he ummed and aahed.........i tried to get his attention on five occassions.........i paid for my coffee and left..............please get a waiter that understands english.............will i go back..................no

Mao, Cape Town

Overall Mao was not to bad.......I only wish tha t the portions were reversed..............the soups lingered on toooooo long and my pork belly was tooooo little although the sweetness was toooooooo much.......the mao beer from Ireland was toooooo pricy otherwise it wasn't tooooo bad

Savoy Cabbage, Hout Street

Maybe my expectations were too high…..apparently the New York times have listed their tomato tart as one of the 10 things to eat before you die. There was no tomato tart when I went….

I started with an Olive feta and caramelized onion tart…R60…..I’ll mention the price because the tart is not worth mentioning……to many tinned slices of olives and not enough panache. The main meal roast lamb rump with haricot beans, aubergine, roasted garlic and thyme jus……should have read chewy raw lamb rump with undercooked semi raw haricot beans, bitter aubergine two slivers of roasted garlic and a red wine sauce for R125…… then I would not have ordered it……….the dessert vanilla crème brule was fine the accompanying biscuit was soft does that mean stale???.....the two orange segments were good. The menu consisted of 7 starters and 10 mains of which 2 were sold out…the wine list had over 40 different wines……….is this a restaurant that concentrates on food or wine?????????????........as I said in the beginning maybe my expectations were too high

Mugg & Bean, Waterfront

If you frequent this establishment does that mean you have been a mug...............the lady on the table across from me ended up with an already sucked on olive pip in her mouth.............she was angry...............this establishment has obviously gone green........al gore will be happy......they must have a recycling plant in the kitchen..................i had a cresta omelette........the chourico inside was uncooked and grey the other ingredient of salsa had failed to make an appearance....the four wedges that accompanied the omelette....huddled together for warmth..........but unfortunately they were cold..............i sent the omelette back to the recycling plant and declined the offer of another............at the mugg & bean you can get a south african or a european cuppacino???????????they are both rubbish.......I wonder if the bottomless coffee is recycled

Café Royale, Long Street

Feeding the Mcdonalds generation……….try making your own hamburger patties

Peppenero, Moulle Point

The afternoon that I went to this establishment their pizza oven was not fired up as the waiter explained to me…..I was going to have a prawn pizza but only those lucky enough to have gone there subsequent to me will know if it is good or not……My eating companions had a chicken salad, the chicken being slightly underdone……my other companion had a caprese salad …….not worth mentioning……the reasons for the salads being ordered was because it was a hot summers day….I had a bolognese which was served warm….and this you will find out is my ultimate hate……….dozy overbearing waiters carrying plates to the table with tea towels and telling you to be careful because the plate is hot…….and the food you imbecile did the kitchen forget………did you not see……. no steam….good visual sign….anyway my warm Bolognese was dismal...I was later told …they have recently opened…… teething problems……by the same person who recommended that I go.

Vida e Caffe, All of them

The Mc donalds of coffee in Cape Town if not already South Africa. The weather being grey today I am sure that every Vida is spilling with people. They are the hype, the place to be seen, the high fiving of the customers and the staff. Only at Vida are we a merry band of brothers. But can they make a coffee..............my coffee of choice being a cappuccino...which is a 1/3 of all the ingredients (espresso/milk/froth) ....here i feel they cannot ....if I wanted an espresso topped with froth I would ask for a macchiato........but then froth is what Vida is about.....but as I wrote earlier they have the hype and unfortunately most South Africans have an American mentality........so if you put something into a fast food scenario they lap it up.....and also as Vida likes to presume that they are Portuguese by name......then I would like them to make real Pastei Da Nata or at least look the ingredients up.........let me give you a hint............. nata is cream...not milk............so whatever is in their Pastei Da Nata is a disgrace.........but if I am at the waterfront, canal walk or cavendish do I go to Vida...yes....but why.............because the competition sucks...but I don't eat the Pastei Da Nata and if the cappuccino is rubbish which it generally is I send it back.

What is a good Restaurant

Is it the decor....the ambience....the amount of people.....the hype created.....the amount of alcohol consumed? Most people have no idea about food, they are in essence what there mothers fed them. In an ever fast moving world where there is no time for most people to have a decent meal food has fallen by the wayside. Celebrity chefs have excited people to the idea of trying to scramble an egg...........roasting potatoes. Food is simple...timing is everything.....but cooking food is simple...turning a cheap cut of meat into a fantastic stew or soup is easy.....time is the key. Most people do not seem to have it.

So therefore we go out to eat...most people as they know nothing about cooking equally know nothing about different cultures and their food. If it is chinese, indian, mongolese or whatever they know nothing and their stupidity means they cannot distinguish good chinese food from bad. So what makes a good restaurant.............the food and only the food...................................the restraunteer either has a good chef that loves food or a palooka. I am of the opinion that every restaurant should be forced to have a trained passionate chef in the kitchen...................and then maybe you will begin to notice the differences in good and mediocre food.

Chef Pons Asian Kitchen, Gardens

Chef Pons everyone says...........great asian food..........I tried it my mixed starter of stale oil satays and tired ready for the grave sushi........avocado lasts so long......... but not that long. The main meal......................................most was left for whomever. My goodness they have the best duck I was told afterwards ..........I apparently should have eaten the duck...... Chef Pons you have been around for ages.....maybe as long as your sushi......your restaurant is full most nights..........well done......maybe everyone is eating duck

95 on Keerom, Keerom Street

Your decor lovely. Your location dodgy. Your food...My salad starter was small... the ingredients listed were there but just...I cannot even recall the name...must have been immemorable. The main meal the Pork was nice my partners Ravioli a bit of a starter portion....the dessert my chocolate souffle well it had flopped for the price I expected it to be upstanding and proud...my partners dessert was sour tinged with what you possibly call sour cream mmmmm maybe off cream. Your italian chef touting from table to table nice touch ...maybe....If he was the chef I would have preffered him to be cooking my food. Overall my main meal was nice but then a Fiat Uno is nice.....As i said your decor is lovely ...............but I cannot eat the decor.

Chicolate, Cape Town

Chicolate formerly Cafe Da Sud which did not last long because they were a complete ripoff with mediocrity served on a plate. What can I say about Chicolate, overdressed, over priced and under portioned. This maybe I can still handle if the food is fresh, thanks for the not so fresh Tuna that had a hint of a few days to long in the refrigerator. Let's face facts the location is not so great muggers delight, the food is sub standard. Please please go and do whatever you were doing before you opened this restaurant.....